[text misfire]

[no_light]

[ It's the second time a message from Kylo Ren shows up in as many months, a new record! What joy!

But this misfired text message going public by morning isn't one he would have wanted to share. ]

you're SO pretty... like SO pretty

i never say nice things to you why do i never say nice things?

i want to write a poem about your eyes and how good you fight you're really special you know that? youre light and fierceness and danger and i was awful to you I'm sorry i never said sorry before huh

[ Such is the result of sampling too much of the local brews, and then experimenting with new technology.

Kylo, enjoy your hangover with a little extra, courtesy of the malfunctioning network. ]

Comments

[redlightgreenlight]

Why, Kylo, I didn't know you cared...

[text because too embarrassed]

[no_light]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[celticromanstone]

Darling, perhaps you should go sleep it off?

[ At least she's not laughing. ]

[no_light]

[ Thank you, Heather, you're a True Friend. You get every massacre immunity ever.

He blinks at the screen, very bleary-eyed and a bit green in the face. ]

I... did? If I want to get drunk ever again, knock me out.

[purrns]

Pass.

[That's it. That's the whole text. ]

[no_light]

[ Ugh. UGH. ]

You're not so witty.

[wrathfulkhan]

I'm flattered, but I'm very taken.

[no_light]

[ He grimaces. More mockery. Sure. Figures. ]

Don't be flattered. Please, don't.

[saintoflangley]

This is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed on your behalf.

[no_light]

Surprisingly, you aren't the first person to tell me so.

[Text]

[purered]

[This is obviously a misfire - he's gotten them on more than one occasion back home - but this one is actually adorable to read.]

I am very happy for you and whoever this was actually meant for.

Re: [Text]

[no_light]

[ Nooooo!

This is even worse than mockery! ]

Thank you. I will pass it on.

[ Right after dying from embarrassment. ]

video; 1/3

[sensitively]

[ lmfksljg WHAT IS THIS ]

2/3

[sensitively]

[ it's ridiculous but it's also ....kind of adorable. now she doesn't know how to feel. ]

[peridiot]

...I don't know what any of this means, but it sounds kind of personal, so I'm guessing that nobody wants to hear it.

[no_light]

I didn't want anybody to hear it!

[looksfine]

...forgive me if I am mistaken, but I believe your communication device has suffered a momentary malfunction in its delivery system.

[Look on the bright side, Kylo; at least Aya would never make fun of you for something like this because she literally doesn't know how.]

[no_light]

It did.

[ Here's more groaning, and feeling miserable. Some self-pity, too. ]

I don't think it's working. I want to kill whoever engineered this.

[shroudofgray]

I am glad to see you say such kind things to everyone. And do not worry, I do not think they are mad that you broke the stairs anymore.

[no_light]

I did not... [ Siiigh. ] You do realize I never intended that to be public, don't you?

[spoilsfun]

I'm not sure if even proper punctuation would make that comprehensible.

[no_light]

Well, it wasn't meant for you anyway!

Text

[spiderforhire]

No, please, keep going.

[no_light]

No I won't. Shut up. You had your laugh.

text;

[isochrone]

Well, I think this was perfectly sweet, and hopefully the intended recipient feels the same way.

[no_light]

[ Sweet! He is not sweet! Stop calling him such terrible things! ]

It wasn't sweet and it wasn't intended to be read by the entire town.

[jinzhong]

...Kylo? You okay, guy?

[no_light]

Do I look okay to you? [ The obvious answer is no, considering he looks very hungover. Not that that is a surprise after the text message. ]

[quiet]

You really do remind me a bit of one of my friends from home. Except he loathes all devices that might force him to actually communicate.

[no_light]

Do I? I envy your friend. I wish I loathed communication devices, at least when intoxicated. [It would have saved him a lot of humiliation.]