tushanshu | 008 // Video

And why do you question that?

Because mixing politics with education is likely going to be detrimental for the latter. And for those willing to attempt to learn in such a setting.

Who said I was bringing politics into it? Unless you mean my controversial views on bathroom breaks and homework.

[Yeah, he'll be passive-aggressive to a kid. Sure.]

[Stare. UNAMUSED stare.]

Whoever thinks you won't is an imbecile.

Oh, you have shown me the error of my ways. Because I have political views I'll exile myself from society and live as a hermit. Thank you for your wisdom.

[Also unamused stare.]

Because you find politics as important as you do, you should remove yourself from any position where you can affect children's opinions.

[And because of what else he's gleaned, from one place or another. He has been here for a while, after all, and stalks the networks... sometimes even encrypted communications.]

If you look back a while you'll notice that I abandoned the council project to whoever else was interested. You'd think I would have stayed with that if political power was all I were interested in.

[He sighs.]

I've confessed my wrongdoings and am making a sincere effort not to repeat them. If that isn't good enough for some of you, then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to spend the rest of my time here as an outcast because of my past.

You brought it up in the first place. That is the more telling factor.

Did I say anything about an outcast? But there is a long way between an outcast and being put into a position where you can control education. That gives a very tempting access to possibilities for brainwashing.

Any teacher would be suspect. The headmaster even more so.

Well, you'll just have to see how it plays out, then. Watch me like a hawk if you like; I'm not stepping down. My skillset is needed and I am the only one who was up to the task.

And regardless of your childish dislike of authority figures, there are worse things to be than a politician. A terrorist, for example, but my terrorist brother has had no trouble getting a second start here. I will do no harm to the children and you're just going to have to take my word on that.

Will I? Perhaps I can do more than that, including coming up with somebody else with the necessary skills set. What do you think is so irreplaceable?

[Pause.]

I do not dislike authority figures. I do dislike children being put in danger.

[The first part may be not quite true.]

[Annnd 99% batcrypted.]

Your terrorist brother is not in a position to affect anyone's mind unsupervised. There is the difference.

I will fight for my position. It is the first that's come along that's actually made use of my skillset, and I'm sick of not contributing anything. If you insist on trying to have me ousted, I won't make it easy.

The children are not in danger. I had someone else's ideals forced upon me as a child and it ultimately ruined my life. I wouldn't do that to someone else.

And my brother has been hanging up posters advertising his chi-blocking classes in a clinic - a place where the hurt and desperate may very well end up - and he will almost definitely be incorporating his views into those lessons. I'm sorry, you're delusional if you think he isn't in a position to affect anyone.

Useful to whom? For what?

[These are questions that do matter, however simplistic.]

And that hospital is run by two people who have the ability to stop whatever he may attempt with barely more than a thought. If they have him there, they will know exactly what he does and when, and can counteract immediately.

That is a security setup, not one of trust.

[Not entirely of trust, at least.]

Administrative skills. Organizational skills. Leadership skills. There haven't been many opportunities yet to make use of those here unless you're a military type, which I am not. And I'm not capable of doing what my brother does at the clinic, either, so that's out.

[He realizes that being antagonistic probably isn't winning him any points, so he decides to turn it down a bit.]

All I'm asking for is a chance to prove myself. If I do wrong, I won't object to being removed from my position. I do object to being barred from the opportunity due to a past most of you didn't even witness.

If you do wrong, it will be too late for some.

Find your chance where adults are involved. Children should not be experimented on. Or with.

[The other reason Damian was not interested in the school in the first place - it is probably a very, very bad idea to put him in daily contact with them. He is, in fact, not trying to deny Tarrlok the opportunity to prove himself better than he has been. He merely doesn't trust him more than he trusts himself, to move past the damage inside.]

I'm not experimenting with anyone. I'm merely trying to make a positive impact while I still can, and this is the first opportunity for me to do so that has come up.

I'm taking the position. I'm sorry.

You could have started a business. That would have put your organizational, people, and leadership skills to use. But, no, you had to wait until children were involved.

You are not in any way or at all sorry.

What business could I have started, exactly? I'm not an inventor. I don't have a product or a service to sell. It'd be a well-organized business but other than that it wouldn't have much going for it.

I never asked for your personal vote of confidence, and you're free to think I'm lying if you want. I won't even be teaching any of these kids and the teachers are free to do as they please. If you're going to do nothing but berate me and make the ridiculous accusation that I intend to hurt these children, I'm going to have to end this conversation here.

That is where your leadership skills might have been useful. There are always people with ideas. Organizational skills is what more than a few of them lack to make those ideas reality - find one or more of them. Employ them.

There are always ways to become useful. Your choice of venue is telling, as well.

A headmaster has power. You say now that the teachers are free to do as they please, but what happens when what they please is not what you please? They become free to do it somewhere else?

Why a school?

[Yeah, sorry, Damian's going to ignore the 'end of conversation' part.]

Well, I haven't met any of those people rich in ideas but lacking in organizational skill, and I'm sick of waiting. If I do become some sort of tyrannical headmaster, the teachers will leave and start another school. There's no power to be had if there are no teachers and no students.

Why a school? Because I liked school, and I want to see it succeed. Apparently that's strange, but it was the first place I felt accepted in, and the first time anyone saw me as someone with potential instead of just the untalented younger sibling. If you don't want to go to the school, don't, I'm sure the students who are actually excited about the possibility would appreciate it.

They are children. Somebody like you can always find ways to keep them, if you put your mind to it.

[Say that isn't so, Tarrlok.]

You felt welcome by one person who did not bother to do her research. How representative is that?

You assume I'm that desperate. This is my only home now. I'd rather that things didn't end up like they did back in my world.

And no, not here. I meant when I was a boy. My memories of my time as a student were fond and that's more than I can say for most things. Either way, I intend to have a new start here, and being quarantined to certain jobs and watched over like I'm some sort of ticking time bomb isn't part of it. If I'm too dangerous for this job, then I'm too dangerous to exist, period, and if that's how you feel I welcome you to come and deal with it. Otherwise, I ask that you leave me be.

Death is not lasting, here, or I might almost be tempted to break my promise in this situation.

Which means 'leaving you be' is not an option. I shall be there. And watching.

I knew there was no such thing as second chances. [Said more to himself than anyone else.]

If you think I hadn't spent my entire life thinking about what I may or may not be too dangerous for, then you're wrong. The only reason I'm letting myself do any of this is because the people I hurt the most were the ones who convinced me that I should try again. Watch me if you like, but if I end up being too dangerous after all, no need to worry, I'll take myself out of the equation. I've done it before.

[Okay, now, this? This strikes home. Deeply. Damian's eyes widen ever so slightly, for a moment, but his expression doesn't change.]

[His shoulders, however, slump a little.]

Not in the eyes of some, there is not.

[Lips pursed, his voice is slightly less forceful than up to now.]

But thinking about it did not stop you from making those wrong choices, did it? Perhaps you are missing something still, that makes the difference.

It was because I was so intent on keeping myself away from any situation where I might be dangerous that I made those choices. I pushed everyone away to keep them safe, but I now firmly believe that if I had not removed every human element from my life out of fear that I'd hurt them, I would never have hurt the people I did in the first place.

I made a mistake, and I kept on making that mistake for years because I never let anyone close enough to help me. You're young, and I don't expect you to understand, I only realized it very recently myself. But that's what it is.

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