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video.
[Good evening chelonauts, tonight you are being treated to the fine sight of one (1) bruised and somewhat bloody Ant-Man looking far more annoyed than he has looked his entire stay on this turtle. There are scrapes and cuts all over his face and his mouth is a thin line that is barely visible until he opens it to speak.]
Heads up: if any of you guys see a rooster that looks like it's been fused with a telephone box, do me a huge favor and run, not walk, in the opposite direction if you want to wake up tomorrow with still ten fingers. [He hasn't lost any of his own yet but it's only a matter of time.] I don't think there's another one of these Frankenchickens out there but just in case.
[There's long-suffering sigh and he's about to say more when he immediately gets drowned out by the rooster rattling around in its makeshift cage and crowing its little cybernetic head off. At the rate things are going, that cage ain't gonna hold it much longer and then fingers are actually going to be lost.
Scott turns and attempts to shush the rooster several times, but since the rooster listens to him about as well as everyone else does (which is to say not at all), he finally gives up and just ignores the damn thing, pinching his nose in exasperation.]
Anyone have any extra bandages? And maybe a flamethrower? You'll get paid back in chicken patties.
Heads up: if any of you guys see a rooster that looks like it's been fused with a telephone box, do me a huge favor and run, not walk, in the opposite direction if you want to wake up tomorrow with still ten fingers. [He hasn't lost any of his own yet but it's only a matter of time.] I don't think there's another one of these Frankenchickens out there but just in case.
[There's long-suffering sigh and he's about to say more when he immediately gets drowned out by the rooster rattling around in its makeshift cage and crowing its little cybernetic head off. At the rate things are going, that cage ain't gonna hold it much longer and then fingers are actually going to be lost.
Scott turns and attempts to shush the rooster several times, but since the rooster listens to him about as well as everyone else does (which is to say not at all), he finally gives up and just ignores the damn thing, pinching his nose in exasperation.]
Anyone have any extra bandages? And maybe a flamethrower? You'll get paid back in chicken patties.
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Nice to meet you, Bianca.
[The last name doesn't ring a bell yet as he is more concerned about how he is going to get back into his house, since all his shrink-me stuff is still in the house.
They better have locksmiths on this turtle.]
Maybe. Probably. Definitely. [He tries wiggling the doorknob again, to no avail. Dammit.] And it's actually better this way since the rooster can't get out and I can't go in to get mauled more.
[It's a win-win for everyone!]
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[She isn't sure about that win-win.]
Are you sure it won't break free? If it's some sort of cyborg rooster how do you know it won't break out of whatever you put it in?
Hopefully you don't have anything important in there if that happens.
[Even normal chickens can wreck things and injure people.]
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[Or rather, call it the desperate hopes and prayers of a man who is a little too poor right now to afford replacing everything he's got inside his little suite. He's gotten pretty good at making desperate hopes and wishes, even though only a scant few of them have been granted lately.
But! Bianca brings up a few awfully good points, and it's with a sigh that he turns around and straightens, tapping his chin twice before he fixates her with a curious stare.]
You wouldn't happen to have any bobby pins on you, would you? Or maybe a thin but sturdy piece of plastic, like a credit card?
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I have my work badge from before I got here.
[She pulls it out of her pocket. It's silly to keep it on her, but long habits die hard.]
Will this do?
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[He takes it from her grasp carefully and then starts sliding it into the crack between the door and the frame. It takes a minute and a half and a little elbow work but soon he's shoving against the door and getting it to open.
There's a belated realization that he probably should've installed better locks onto his door if this is how easily a person can get in, but there's not a whole lot of stuff he'd miss even if it were to get stolen.
Pulling Bianca's work badge back, he blows on it gently and pats it off before returning it to her.]
Thanks. Sorry if it looks a little worse for the wear - I promise to pay for a replacement if you need one.
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[She takes it back and slips it into her pocket.]
This came with me, so it doesn't really need to be replaced here. I don't even know if it can be.
We should get you patched up now that we can.
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Not that he would've been able to stop her anyway.]
Yeah, guess so. [Hmm.] Is there anything specific you need? Water, bandages...?
[None of which he really has minus the water.]
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Soap and water.
I have everything else I'll need in here.
[After looking a bit, she walks over to his kitchen and sets the first aid kit on the table. There is space for it, right?]
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But he does his best not to let the state of his place get to him and starts the tap while digging for some soap in one of the drawers, which luckily he does actually have some of.]
You know, if you give me some bandages I can probably take care of myself.
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I'll take care of it.
Wash up, it'll be easier to clean everything out and put the bandages on if you don't have blood covering everything.
[In the meantime, she moves things around on the table to give enough space to actually pull stuff out from the first aid kit. Scissors, tape, bandage gauze, and iodine. Sorry, Scott, it's what she was able to find at the time. This is going to sting.]
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You sound like my mom.
[Even though he's quite sure she can't be that much older (if even older) than he is.
But he does as she instructs, heading over to the sink to rinse off his face and fingers and whatever parts of him are still splattered with blood. It doesn't take too long before he's making his way back to where she's standing.]
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Well, I am a mom. I'm a nurse too.
[Once he's finished and has moved back over, she directs him to sit down and begins to clean out the various cuts, scrapes, and possibly gouges with the iodine.]
You're not that bad off, for being attacked by some kind of cyborg rooster. [She can't believe she just said that.]
Even normal roosters can do a lot of damage when they get it into their heads.
[Injuries caused by angry birds are a very real and painful thing.]
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I always knew there was a reason why I liked living in the city better than in the country. [He's trying to keep all of this light-hearted.] Never been attacked by a normal rooster before and I'd like to keep it that way.
[But, he's curious.]
Is Jaime your only kid or do you have more back home?
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El Paso's actually a pretty big city. It's only out near the city limits that there are rural parts. [And the occasional person who thinks keeping a rooster as a pet in the middle of a suburban neighborhood is completely reasonable.
And then, keeping her voice steady:]
I also have a younger daughter, Milagro.
[If Scott asks how old she is the mun's getting shanked.]
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El Paso. [The way he says it suggests he's never had to utter a Spanish word in his life that didn't come off a Taco Bell menu.] That's in Texas, right? I went there once for a electronics symposium. It's nice.
[He doesn't want to think about the daughter thing, doesn't want to envision this woman with a wild smile on her face and a grinning shrieking child in her arms, but his mind is already there. Except that in place of Bianca and a faceless girl it's an image of him and Cassie.
Damn it.]
So how old's your daughter?
[He doesn't really want to talk about daughters, but if the alternative is five minutes of silence then he'll keep asking questions until there's no silence left to sit and mope in.]
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NO REGRETS.]no subject
She's eight.
[She doesn't particularly want to think too much on the fact that it's only her and Jaime here, even as dangerous as it might be; she already misses her husband and daughter, and she hasn't even been here for very long.]
Do you have any kids of your own?
[Just because his suite looks like the definition of 'bachelor pad' doesn't mean he doesn't have a family of his own.]
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I did. She's not here with me.
[The use of past tense gives things away, even with his half-hearted attempt at hedging. It's still not a topic he's comfortable discussing, even after the year that had passed since her death.
But he forces a smile anyway. It's tired and wan, but even weak humor is better than a cloud of depression, right?]
Probably better she's not. I would've yelled so much over boyfriends.
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I'm sorry.
[Jaime had disappeared for a year, and all those months, not knowing what had happened to her son, whether he was alive or dead, had been terrible, the worst time in her life, and in 'Berto's. They had only begun to accept the possibility that he wasn't coming back when he had suddenly returned. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like if he had died and they had known it. With him just vanishing, there was always the hope he was alive, somewhere.
The fact that he's trying to smile about it means it's either been long enough, or that he's more internally resilient than his small fight against the cyborg rooster suggests, and she gives him one in return.]
I'm sure you weren't looking forward to it.
[Her husband's already started watching the neighborhood boys who sometimes play with Milagro warily and their little girl's still at the age where kids think cooties are a thing.]
Almost done. [All the biggest and most clustered cuts have been taken care of at this point.]
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You kidding? It would've been the best part of my day, waving around a baseball bat and threatening to break their legs if they so much as touched her.
[There is a small jerk-ish part of him that still hasn't grown up yet, to the surprise of absolutely no one. Guy's gotta find entertainment in his life somehow, right? Also he can get away with it because it's stereotypical dad behavior so no way he was going to waste that opportunity if he could help it.
Buuuut he should probably shut up about breaking boys' legs in before he gets branded as a violent jerk. In the eventuality his history leaks, he'd prefer it not be under the assumption that he beat kids for a living.]
Thanks though. Really. [Likely he would've ended up the the Abominable Ant-Man instead of the Astonishing Ant-Man if Bianca hadn't offered to come over.] How much do I owe you?
[It's a joke. Mostly.]
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[That's probably exactly what 'Berto's planning, so it gets a bit of a laugh from her.
You're welcome. This time, nothing, if only because you didn't need to get a finger reattached.
[That would require all out surgery.]
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I'll try not to lose a finger next time. [Err. Wait.] Not that there'll be a next time. There will definitely not be a next time.
[If only because he probably wouldn't come out of it alive. Clearing his throat, he gestures towards all of her unpacked supplies.]
Need any help cleaning up? Or an escort back home?
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[Scott, try to keep all your fingers attached, please.]
I wouldn't mind any help cleaning up, though I think you said you didn't want to leave the rooster alone?
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Not to mention the need to try to preserve the timeline. Backtags!]no subject
Who needs timeline preservation when you're from comics!!At the mention of Poyo, he winces. The damn chicken still exists, doesn't it?]
Right. The chicken's still a thing. [Dammit.] But I'll help clean and then you can be on your way.
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The players, of course! While all our characters point and laugh. 'Cept maybe not your guys.]Yes, it is. Funny how that works, isn't it? [She sounds amused as she says it, though.]
I can also help you tidy all this up too, before I leave. [A wave at cereal bowl mountain.]
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[Wow, way to make a grown man blush, Bianca. Despite the fact that Scott is perfectly comfortable with his cleanliness habits when it comes to friends, Bianca is not a friend and probably did not need to be exposed to his pigsty of a kitchen.]
That's—that's really okay. Really. I'm sure you have much better things to do with your time [than help a grown man clean his kitchen].
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