AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

[nerdylilspidey]

 [Peter's not quite in the right place, mentally, to put up a video post. And he definitely isn't sure he should put it up from his own suite. So he's found his way to the nearest cafe, with an oversized hoodie pulled up over his head, and is starting up only an audio feed.]

Never a boring moment around here, is there? One minute we're normal-ish, celebrating Valentine's Day, and the next we're battling evil miasma inside a magic bottle.

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to the idea of rest and relaxation?


[FILTERED to the Spider-family]

...Sorry. About what happened back there. You-- You guys know that that-- That wasn't me. You know that, right...?

Oh, God... [There's a sigh, and then a beat of silence before he continues.] Anyway, just- I'm sorry.

Comments

[unobtainableredemption]

And I'm sure you would have made it to the hospital just fine.

[The Point




Kaine]

[nerdylilspidey]

[Dammit, Kaine.]

Or I could've collapsed and bled out on the street.



Which also would've been exciting.

[unobtainableredemption]

I doubt you can even die here.

[nerdylilspidey]

Are we talking invincibility or zombie resurrections?

[unobtainableredemption]

Seeing as there aren't any shotguns here, I'm going to go with the first one. I mean clearly you can bleed, but I don't think you can die. [Because remember, he saw that hole. You shouldn't have been able to breathe, let alone walk around.]

[nerdylilspidey]

It still felt a lot like knocking on death's door.

[unobtainableredemption]

I don't know! I'm not the expert on what bullshit happens here!

[nerdylilspidey]

I never said you were.

[unobtainableredemption]

Then stop asking me.

[nerdylilspidey]

I wasn't asking anything. I was commenting.

[unobtainableredemption]

Whatever.

[nerdylilspidey]

You commented, I commented... We commented.

[unobtainableredemption]

And I'm done arguing semantics.

[nerdylilspidey]

I was just saying.

[unobtainableredemption]

I'm beginning to miss the other Peter.

[nerdylilspidey]

... The one we saw back there- He's the Me from your universe, right?

[unobtainableredemption]

[He nods.] The way I saw him right before I got here, anyway.

[nerdylilspidey]

He was, uh... kind of a major tool, not gonna lie.

[Not quite the way he'd imagined, considering what he'd heard.]

[unobtainableredemption]

I noticed.

You didn't have him attempt to bring a building down over you. [In New York, not nightmare Houston.

Kaine sighs.] May thinks it's someone else, like... possessing Parker or something. I thought Parker just finally snapped.

[nerdylilspidey]

Whoa- He did what now?! [That does not sound like a Peter Parker sanctioned decision.]

That-- Seriously, I prefer that line of thinking over "Future Me is a total douchebag with weirdo Doc Ock arms." What was up with that anyway?

[unobtainableredemption]

He was trying to destroy the Jackal's lab... he just apparently didn't care if I was still in it.

[Kaine doesn't think ] He had the extra legs for a while before a few years back. I think Stark made them for him. [Though he can't remember why...] And Doctor Octopus is dead. Again.

[nerdylilspidey]

[Peter frowns.] That- seriously doesn't sound right.

... Okay, Stark-sanctioned or not, Other Me has officially taken the spider-theme eight steps too far.

And seriously, one day somebody needs to explain the multiple death thing you guys seem to have going.

[unobtainableredemption]

The spider signal and the spider tracers didn't already give that away?

Fuck if I know how he came back. I made sure he was pretty damn dead before... ["You'll know what it feels like! What you did to me! You took my life!" Parker... Peter said that. And right after he said something weird. He said... "Anything you did, you did for him! For Spider-Man!" Kaine had just assumed at the time that was some sort of thing with Peter, that he considered Spider-Man someone else or something. But... what if May was right? What if he wasn't Peter, but Octavius?

No. That's stupid. There's no way that can be right. He was just reading too deeply into this now that Ock's name got thrown around.]

[nerdylilspidey]

The spider signal and spider traces were the first two steps overboard. He's now eight steps too far.

So you... killed Doc Ock? Also- Jar.

[unobtainableredemption]

The first time, anyway.

Among others.