tushanshu | video.

[Good evening chelonauts, tonight you are being treated to the fine sight of one (1) bruised and somewhat bloody Ant-Man looking far more annoyed than he has looked his entire stay on this turtle. There are scrapes and cuts all over his face and his mouth is a thin line that is barely visible until he opens it to speak.]

Heads up: if any of you guys see a rooster that looks like it's been fused with a telephone box, do me a huge favor and run, not walk, in the opposite direction if you want to wake up tomorrow with still ten fingers. [He hasn't lost any of his own yet but it's only a matter of time.] I don't think there's another one of these Frankenchickens out there but just in case.

[There's long-suffering sigh and he's about to say more when he immediately gets drowned out by the rooster rattling around in its makeshift cage and crowing its little cybernetic head off. At the rate things are going, that cage ain't gonna hold it much longer and then fingers are actually going to be lost.

Scott turns and attempts to shush the rooster several times, but since the rooster listens to him about as well as everyone else does (which is to say not at all), he finally gives up and just ignores the damn thing, pinching his nose in exasperation.]

Anyone have any extra bandages? And maybe a flamethrower? You'll get paid back in chicken patties.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So does the rooster.

No, he has a nuke.

A nuke? It's going to shorten his life span. That's pretty irresponsible.

When they put the nukes in, they spent some of that 6 trillion giving him /really good/ shielding from the radioactivity. [Yes, Jason, Colby's Universe spent 6.2 trillion dollars on a homicidal ~~chicken~~ rooster..]

[His universe put insane amount of money and time to put a guy in a bad halloween costume ~~batman~~. It's totally understandable.]

Wow, I'm impressed. Does a bazooka cook it thoroughly? Curious minds wants to know before any bad attempt kills them.

Heh, like you could hit him with a bazooka.

You guys have really invested in your poultry. What other sort of upgrades does the rooster have?

Poyo's worth the investment.

...Oh, just odds and ends.

I normally don't ask this much about another man's cock but you're going to have to be more specific about those upgrades.

Not on the first date anyway, buddy. You can ask anything you want... but to give you the cliff notes version, most of the answers are: it's classified.

That's not really cliff notes, is it. That's a sticker price.

I'm sure there are some questions that I could answer, but that covers the majority of them.

If you really want to know, you could just piss off Poyo and find out for yourself.

What pisses it off?

[challenge accepted?? (not really, but also maybe)]

That's the question. So far on my list I've got: other roosters, government targets such as dictators, your random run-of-the-mill assholes, and people who look at him funny. He's also not fond of being pet.

Well. If you ever need to have it taken off your hands, I'm your man. - Joe.

Edited (oops secret ids) 2013-09-12 01:21 (UTC)

Sorry, but my partner's not for sale.

- Agent Colby

Agent, sir. I'm not talking about selling.

You can try to take Poyo if you want, but you'll probably leave without your fingers.

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