001 [Video]

[spideyfanone]

[It's hard to be sure of the camera's angle, but it's definitely propped up somehow, with the speaker hanging upside-down from the ceiling, because why not. Scrawny, scruffy, in his early teens, and some kind of fuzzy, blue elf-demon. When he speaks, it's with a clipped Brooklyn accent.]

So... the turtle is new and different. I've done space whales, but not reality-turtles.

Anyway. Longshot, but any of my team here? Lookin' for a General James Howlett especially, or Miz Alison Blaire? ...Hercules? ...Emmaline Frost-Summers? I mean, she doesn't even like me and I think she's a goddess now, but worth a shot.

Guessing not, though, so does anybody need somethin' fixed? Because I hate being bored, and unless somebody's got a mission that needs doing, I'mma be a huge pain in the butt.

Comments

[alpha_squad_leader]

If you say so. We'll just have to wait and see if that proves true.

[spideyfanone]

Hey, gimme some credit. Disguises are hard when you're blue. THey kinda have to be clever.

[alpha_squad_leader]

Yes, I'm well aware of how an obvious mutation can make disguise work difficult. [Just smirking a little at that.]

[spideyfanone]

...Point taken. Disguise missions are super fun, though. Totally jealous.

[alpha_squad_leader]

I don't really get to do a lot of disguise work either. There are other stealthy sneaking missions though.

[spideyfanone]

Yeah, but let's be honest, life's way less fun when you aren't dressing up your scariest teammates for LARPing.

[alpha_squad_leader]

[That gets a laugh from Victor.]

I can't say I've ever gotten my teammates in LARP gear but we've done some cosplay thanks to the Danger Cave.

[spideyfanone]

Ha, awesome. Yeah, we had to try and pass off Mr. Howlett and Herc as orcs. Best mission.

[alpha_squad_leader]

Mr. Howlett? Like Wolverine? Disguised as an orc? [He laughs at the mental image.]

[spideyfanone]

And Hercules! They... pulled it off a little too well, actually.

[alpha_squad_leader]

It's not as funny to imagine Herc in that gear. [He chuckles.] Too well? How did they pull it off too well?

[spideyfanone]

I think they may have missed their calling as legions of evil with ridiculous, leather-heavy outfits, is all.

[alpha_squad_leader]

I can see the leather working but I don't think the whole legions of evil thing is a good fit.

[spideyfanone]

Yeah, legions of gruff Canadian stoicism, maybe.

[alpha_squad_leader]

Maybe Wolverine. I don't think Hercules even knows how to do stoic.

[spideyfanone]

He's also not Canadian, but he's usually happy as long as he's with Mr. Howlett, so I don't think he'd mind.

[alpha_squad_leader]

That's true. [A brief pause.] Herc spends a lot of time with your Wolverine?

[spideyfanone]

They were kind of...

[He has no idea what the right word would be. "Boyfriends" sounds kind of silly and childish, given it's them, but it's not like they were married, exactly, or anything very concrete. And every other word he can think of sounds like romance novel copy.]

A thing. With a somewhat alarming amount of PDA by adult standards? Like, obnoxious couples making out in the hallways in middle school levels.

[alpha_squad_leader]

[Victor stares for a moment, trying to process this information. He's getting all kinds of mental images he's not sure how to react to.]

Wolverine. And Hercules. Were a couple? Together?

[spideyfanone]

Well, I mean, the ones I knew were. No idea if that happened in any other universes. But yeah. And they got sent to some kind of underworld for it in their own universe, and spent a couple years beating up the whole hell dimension thingy. So who's gonna argue at that point, y'know?

[Kind of cool, except for it being weird that his surrogate father acts like a smitten teenager whenever said demigod's around. Which is weird.]

[alpha_squad_leader]

Huh. That's...well beating up a hell dimension sounds like the both of them alright. Glad they have eachother then.

[spideyfanone]

[He's pretty sure they don't anymore, but he's carefully ignoring everything that happened for about an hour before he got here. Denial is such a great solution. Time for a change of subject.]

Weird romantic histories seem like one of the minor prerequisites for joining my team. I mean, for people over eighteen... whose heads are still attached to their bodies...

[Too many qualifiers. Universe-hopping just makes everything weirder.]

[alpha_squad_leader]

Are people over eighteen and with bodies still attached to their heads the majority of your team or...?

[spideyfanone]

Yeah, me and Xave are prolly the only exceptions. And I only got to come because I was on the original squad that busted out of the Savior Machine. KInd of a team mascot, honestly.

[alpha_squad_leader]

How long were you with the team? I think they might have had more reason to keep you around if they didn't ditch you at the first reasonably safe spot.