AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

[nerdylilspidey]

 [Peter's not quite in the right place, mentally, to put up a video post. And he definitely isn't sure he should put it up from his own suite. So he's found his way to the nearest cafe, with an oversized hoodie pulled up over his head, and is starting up only an audio feed.]

Never a boring moment around here, is there? One minute we're normal-ish, celebrating Valentine's Day, and the next we're battling evil miasma inside a magic bottle.

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to the idea of rest and relaxation?


[FILTERED to the Spider-family]

...Sorry. About what happened back there. You-- You guys know that that-- That wasn't me. You know that, right...?

Oh, God... [There's a sigh, and then a beat of silence before he continues.] Anyway, just- I'm sorry.

Comments

[nerdylilspidey]

[ No you're not. ]

...You're seriously quitting?

[unobtainableredemption]

[...No, he's not. Because as much as he fights it, he's a Parker and he's now stuck with that burden for the rest of his life.

But god damn it, let him pretend for a while.]

I never should have put it on in the first place. It was a joke that went on far too long.

[nerdylilspidey]

[The Parker genes are strong in this one.]

..I, for one, am glad you put it on.

[unobtainableredemption]

[Yeah well blame the Jackal.

Kaine glances over at Peter. It's clear from his expression he wasn't expecting that response.]

...Why?

[nerdylilspidey]

[He shrugs.]

Well, if you hadn't suited up and beat the crap out of a random mugger here, I wouldn't have tried to stop you.

[And then this broship would never have set sail.]

[unobtainableredemption]

And I'm sure you would have made it to the hospital just fine.

[The Point




Kaine]

[nerdylilspidey]

[Dammit, Kaine.]

Or I could've collapsed and bled out on the street.



Which also would've been exciting.

[unobtainableredemption]

I doubt you can even die here.

[nerdylilspidey]

Are we talking invincibility or zombie resurrections?

[unobtainableredemption]

Seeing as there aren't any shotguns here, I'm going to go with the first one. I mean clearly you can bleed, but I don't think you can die. [Because remember, he saw that hole. You shouldn't have been able to breathe, let alone walk around.]

[nerdylilspidey]

It still felt a lot like knocking on death's door.

[unobtainableredemption]

I don't know! I'm not the expert on what bullshit happens here!

[nerdylilspidey]

I never said you were.

[unobtainableredemption]

Then stop asking me.

[nerdylilspidey]

I wasn't asking anything. I was commenting.

[unobtainableredemption]

Whatever.

[nerdylilspidey]

You commented, I commented... We commented.

[unobtainableredemption]

And I'm done arguing semantics.

[nerdylilspidey]

I was just saying.

[unobtainableredemption]

I'm beginning to miss the other Peter.

[nerdylilspidey]

... The one we saw back there- He's the Me from your universe, right?

[unobtainableredemption]

[He nods.] The way I saw him right before I got here, anyway.

[nerdylilspidey]

He was, uh... kind of a major tool, not gonna lie.

[Not quite the way he'd imagined, considering what he'd heard.]

[unobtainableredemption]

I noticed.

You didn't have him attempt to bring a building down over you. [In New York, not nightmare Houston.

Kaine sighs.] May thinks it's someone else, like... possessing Parker or something. I thought Parker just finally snapped.

[nerdylilspidey]

Whoa- He did what now?! [That does not sound like a Peter Parker sanctioned decision.]

That-- Seriously, I prefer that line of thinking over "Future Me is a total douchebag with weirdo Doc Ock arms." What was up with that anyway?