AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

[nerdylilspidey]

 [Peter's not quite in the right place, mentally, to put up a video post. And he definitely isn't sure he should put it up from his own suite. So he's found his way to the nearest cafe, with an oversized hoodie pulled up over his head, and is starting up only an audio feed.]

Never a boring moment around here, is there? One minute we're normal-ish, celebrating Valentine's Day, and the next we're battling evil miasma inside a magic bottle.

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to the idea of rest and relaxation?


[FILTERED to the Spider-family]

...Sorry. About what happened back there. You-- You guys know that that-- That wasn't me. You know that, right...?

Oh, God... [There's a sigh, and then a beat of silence before he continues.] Anyway, just- I'm sorry.

Comments

[unobtainableredemption]

Wait... what? You mean it's not from space? [He knew there were differences, but...]

[nerdylilspidey]

What? No, it's- No. Why would it be from space?

[unobtainableredemption]

Because the Venom I know is from space. [...He thinks.]

[nerdylilspidey]

So it's a... an alien... space suit..?

[unobtainableredemption]

Fuck if I know. Parker got the damn thing was when I was chasing Reilly across America. All I know is that now the government's got it and some idiot soldier thinks he's a superhero with it.

[nerdylilspidey]

Jar. [The jar's not even in this suite. The word just popped out of him automatically.

And then he frowns. Playing superhero with Venom. Great.] I wonder how that's working out.

[Aaaand while we're in the spirit of sharing--] Where I'm from, Project Venom was something that- that my dad was working on. Him and Eddie Brock's dad, they made this biological suit that was supposed to heal the body. They were trying to cure cancer. They only got to the prototype stage, and as a test they- they used my dad's DNA. It needs a sample to work on the subject, since it gets super specific. So with my dad gone, it just- it latched onto me. Inherited what the spider-bite did to me. And that- that's what you saw back there.

[unobtainableredemption]

[Debates flipping Peter off, but decides against it at the last moment.]

Whoever he is, he idolizes you--he gave me the damn responsibility speech almost verbatim. [Seriously, who doesn't know this stupid speech? Why must everyone he meet give him the speech? Hell even Iron Man gave him a version of it!] He also lost control of the symbiote about four seconds after meeting him again... but he actually rooted for me to kill him so whoever he is also knows he's a f--an idiot for what he's doing. Once he pulled himself back together he was just a more annoying you.

Wait you grew up with Eddie Brock? [There's a weird mental image.] He was just some crazy nutjob who wound up with the Venom symbiote before somehow becoming Anti-Venom. [Wrings his hands] ...And in a roundabout way, he's also one of the reasons I'm still here. [If Parker hadn't knocked him into that vat of Anti-Venom...]

[nerdylilspidey]

[Peter frowns a little. Someone who idolizes him. He honestly can't think of a soul who'd fit that bill, but then again, this is a different version of himself. Other Peter probably fit the superhero bill a lot better than he did.] So you had two "me"s at once? Sort of? Because then I feel like you can't complain about me.

[Then he shakes his head a little, letting out a breath.] No- Not really. When our parents were alive, apparently we played together a lot? I don't remember it, though. I was too young, I guess... And after the suit bonded with me, he.. Eddie took it and really became Venom...

... I think no matter what universe we're talking, Venom's just automatically bad news.

[unobtainableredemption]

"Agent" Venom and I met twice, and neither time were you there, Parker. This may come as a surprise, but my world doesn't revolve around you or your problems. [Except for when he spent those five years in a "misguided" attempt to "help" you by ruining Ben's life.]

That, and that Eddie Brock is stuck with your sloppy seconds no matter what the universe. [Though he has to admit...] But whoever has the suit now has a decent hold of it... when it has a hold of it at all.

[nerdylilspidey]

That is a surprise. I totally thought that everyone's worlds revolved around me and my soap opera. [Kidding. That'd be the worst soap opera ever.]

Some control is better than none. Hopefully that's enough.

[unobtainableredemption]

Reilly and I spent a long time trying to get out of your shadow.

And if he finally loses it, I hope there's someone there that will off him like he wants.

[nerdylilspidey]

I don't even know your Peter, and I feel like I'm doing the same.

[With a short exhale, Peter leans back in his seat so he can stare up at the ceiling. Personally, he doesn't want anybody getting offed, no matter what the situation.]

...I just hope there's a way to contain the suit itself.

[unobtainableredemption]

[Kaine dares to look at Peter for the first time since he started talking, but isn't brave enough to look him in the eye. He never realized how many times he might have slipped and referred to this Peter as his.]

I didn't mean... I don't compare you to him. You might have the same name, the same face, but you're two different people.

[nerdylilspidey]

[He looks back over at Kaine with a blink of surprise, and then even he's averting his gaze.] No, I'm not saying that you were-- I just meant that...

[He frowns a little, then shuts his eyes with a sigh.] ...When I saw that- that adult statue. I just thought, "Wow. That could've been me." And at the same time, it-- There's already a version or two of me like that, and I'm never gonna...

[He frowns and shakes his head slowly from side to side.] I don't know how to become that guy. I don't think I ever will.

[unobtainableredemption]

Do you honestly think my Peter or May's Peter knew what the hell they were doing at 16? Or that Reilly or I knew what the hell we were doing when we left New York with nothing more than someone else's memories in our heads? You just... figure it out as you go along. [Okay this is coming too close to a pep talk. Why can't someone else be here to handle this?]

[nerdylilspidey]

Yeah, I- I know. But... I've clearly messed up in some way that no one else has. I feel like I keep hearing about how good Spider-Man is everywhere else. And then there's, y'know, me.

[He lets out another sigh, and then raises his hands to wipe them down his face.] Sorry to- to dump that on you. I probably sound completely stupid.

[unobtainableredemption]

Are you kidding me? Parker is the biggest idiot I have ever met in my life! He screws up on a daily basis. Did you ever think that maybe the people that have talked to you about him might be biased?

You don't believe in putting a giant spider flashlight on your belt. You're automatically smarter than he is.

[nerdylilspidey]

I don't have a whole lot else to go on! I know he swings somewhere between what you're saying and what everyone else is saying, and that's just- It's just a big gray area.

... And seriously, that- that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard.

[unobtainableredemption]

Why compare yourself to him at all!? You are not him! [Words he has told himself over and over again for the last ten years.]

The spider signal. I wish I was kidding.

[nerdylilspidey]

I'm not him, I know, but-- And I mean, I don't regret what I did, but... He's survived. In one universe he's even got kids.

[unobtainableredemption]

Peter, I've died four times. If God can bring someone like me back when He knows damn well where I should be... You, more than anyone I know, deserve to be brought back too. If not... there's worse places to live than this damn turtle.

[nerdylilspidey]

[He's quiet for a moment, and then he looks back over at Kaine with a small, grateful smile.]

If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to cheer me up.

[unobtainableredemption]

[There is the barest hint of a smirk on his lips.]

Then it's a good thing you know better.

[He pauses to let the moment pass.]

...Anything else you feel like knowing about me?

[nerdylilspidey]

Can I feign ignorance for two seconds?

[He says, but then he also lets the moment go by. It's how Kaine works, and he's fine with it.]

..Your shirt size might be good. So I can get your "I Heart Houston" shirt ready.

[unobtainableredemption]

[This is just like Peter. He just admitted to being a murderer, a wanted felon, and to torturing Ben for five years, and all he wants to talk about are TV shows and T-Shirts.]

That's never going to happen.