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Ladies and gentlemen, I am bored as Hel. You folk especially ought to recognize by now just how dreadful a situation that might be when dealing with a god of mischief.

[ This is not the Loki Laufeyson people might be accustomed to seeing, but he's certainly posting from the same console that the young scamp usually does. He's apparently maybe in his late teens, but certainly no older than that. ]

So who wants to buy me drinks and see how long it takes to get a handsome Asgardian lad properly sloshed?

[ There's an awkward pause. Shit, his mom might see this.

Shit, Mistress Bianca might. ]

In the most responsible and reasonable way imaginable, I assure you. And, worry not, the attractive visage you see here is one-hundred percent the truth. For once. I am actually a man grown, I assure you. Did a little witchcraft with a lovely assistant, sorted some things out. Started a novel, too, actually, and I'm thinking of taking up yoga. Lots of personal growth going on.

And now that this has turned utterly anticlimactic, I'll leave off there.

( Private (Default Encryption) to Willow and Gene )

unobtainableredemption

[Kaine was sitting at one of the numerous cafes in the Earth sector, wearing his Scarlet Spider costume and feeling like an idiot in doing so. Unfortunately, he couldn't make this as Kaine, not when he couldn't remember the kid's real name to save his life.

At least this time he knew how to work the damn console.]

If you know who I am, check in. I might have something that belongs to you.

[Could that have been less cryptic? Probably. Hopefully it works.]

traitorously

[Catty's in a pair of overalls that are basically covered in paint, and she's got a smear on her cheek as well. But her hands are clean, and she's handling one of a set of books with care]

So...this post isn't exactly super-important-Mally-related. Or anything like that at all, actually. But I figured I should ask around! The thing is, I kind of got carried away with the auctions. I've never been to one before, and there were all kinds of interesting things for sale, and before I knew it I ended up with a bunch of French books that I've never heard of. At least, I think they're French. I don't even read French.

[She's grinning, though, amused by her own terrible decision making] Anyway, I've seen that people have been picking up stuff that actually belongs to other people, so I thought I'd ask if these belong to anyone. [She proceeds to dance the books across the screen, one at a time. She sets them down when she's done, but she doesn't seem quite ready to hang up.]

--Actually, this is something completely unrelated to the books, but something Vanessa said in her post reminded me. Do we actually have any places for clubbing here? Or dancing? I asked when I first showed up, but I never really got an answer. I think it'd be fun. And useful! Dancing before trying to save the world has a one hundred percent success rate, in my experience.

hijackedbread

[The video clicks on to show a boy of seventeen staring at the screen. The kedan have just shown him how to work the console and he assumes he’s meant to broadcast, as he would in Panem. So he flashes a winning smile, one that doesn’t quite stretch to his eyes.]

Hello. My name is Peeta Mellark, from District 12. They said this isn’t the Capitol. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure where Keeliai is or why I’m here. But I know that the Emperor wouldn’t bring me here without a reason and I trust her wisdom. I appreciate how welcoming you have been and I look forward to learning more about you and to fulfilling my duties here.

[The tribute is incredibly charming, but those who are extremely perceptive would be able to detect that nearly every word is a lie and may notice the sound of handcuffs being pulled taut. He pauses and his smile falters.]

If any other Victors have been welcomed here, I would be glad to be reunited with them again.

unobtainableredemption

[Even though he had been shown how to use the console in his suite close to 5 times now, Kaine still finds himself fiddling with it when the feed turns on. There was a reason why, after buying him a laptop (with Kaine's money) and multiple attempts at teaching him how to use it, his friend Wally just accepted the 3 AM visits whenever Kaine needed to run a simple Google search. But the clone was desperate, and now here he is.

How desperate, you ask? Well, he's currently wearing an over-sized, tacky "I <3 NY" souvenir t-shirt and an expression that's a cross between a pout and a scowl.] Where can I buy a normal shirt? I'm down to this one and there's no way in hell I'm wearing it again. [A pause.] For the record, by "normal shirt" I mean a t-shirt or something along those lines. I'll take a jacket at this point too.

[He shifts in his seat, discomfort pouring out of him as he tugs at the hem of his comically large shirt. He hates asking for assistance, but he's been searching for something for a couple days now and keeps coming up empty.

His face turns to a scowl again when he adds:] And to the person who took my good shirt--you know who you are--I want it back. Take this one.

[He pauses after that, as there's something else he wants to say, but doesn't actually want to say it. The thought of asking it causes him to grit his teeth, and the beginning of it comes out like a growl.] I'm also looking for a job. Something like a bouncer or a bodyguard... [Glances down at something off camera.] I'm, uh, good with my hands, and not that it matters here but I'm fluent in four languages.

[With that, he's officially gone past his comfort zone and he attempts to quickly turn the damn thing off--key word being attempts. He lets out a slew of curses, and right before he finally manages to turn it off, he can be seen depositing some juulan into a large, clear container labeled "Swear Jar" already a quarter full just before the screen finally goes black.]

ironwood

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